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7 Hilarious and Totally Unhinged Restaurant Yelp Reviews

Ah, Yelp. What did we do before it? On one hand, it’s a useful place to get the skinny on a new restaurant you want to try, and on the other hand, it’s also a place you can find totally unhinged, off-the-wall rants from some of this country’s most colorful personalities. We perused reddit’s “r/YelpDrama” subreddit which compiles some of Yelp’s absolute best (or worst?) reviews. Here are some of our favorite finds. 

1. This sick burn on a gelateria. 

“So bad I thought I had COVID” is an insult made possible by the events of the past two years, and it really just has a different sting to it. This reviewer was helpful enough to also advise folks to “know their worth” and check out a better alternative. Good stuff. 


2. This modern day rendition of Les Miserables featuring a hungry, soup-eating thief. 

Many mistakes were made by this shoplifter–the first of which was stealing soup and the last of which was having the audacity to try to use their bathroom to clean out their bookbag. 

3. This classic dog food, human food mix-up at Einstein Bros Bagels. 

Let the first person who has not eaten a dog treat by accident cast the first stone at this Yelp reviewer.

4. This review by “Swaggy F” who really went through a whole rollercoaster of emotions due to the discontinuation of this restaurant’s chicken fingers. 

Within the span of a few sentences, this man really went from “If I could give this 0 stars I would!” to “10/10 except for the chicken.” We even got a little bit of his childhood background in the mix. Just a superb and totally normal review all around, really. 

5. This totally normal reaction to a restaurant not having rib tips.

This person really went the extra mile and invoked the wrath of God in this review. 10/10 stars. 

6. This hookah review.

Shout out to this laidback Yelper for only taking off one star for the near death experience. 

7. And finally, this strip club review with dubious COVID-19 safety policies.

No masks but tops on? Is it wrong we’re kind of on his side?